Imagine that you are a doctor sitting across from a patient. You hesitate briefly and take a deep breath before looking up into their fearful eyes and uttering those devastatingly hopeless words, “I’m sorry, but there is nothing more we can do for you.”
Thankfully, we in hospice need never even think such a thing. We know that there is always something more that can be done! Right up to their very last breath, we can hold a hand, cool a forehead or comfort a family member.
What about in between though? What can we as volunteers do during the last months of a patient’s life? We can be creative!
If you ever begin feeling awkward, uncomfortable or burned out in your assignment, it may be time to re-evaluate and get creative with the time you spend and how you spend it. Some people are not naturally chatty and need to be busy doing something, but what?
First, find ways to help lighten their load. What need could you fill? Shopping? Gardening? Cleaning? Cooking? Decorating for holidays? Providing the fresh garden produce that they can no longer grow themselves? Writing letters or cards? Clean out a closet and haul a load to the thrift store? Bring cut flowers? I’ve added beds to the back of our property so that I’ll have more to share. Thrift stores are full of good cheap vases that you won’t be afraid to lose.
Second, find some fun ways to help fill the time. Find out what they used to enjoy and begin with their interests, but perhaps introduce them to new ones as well. Card games? Board games? Reading? Baking? Puzzles? Watching old movies? Adapt entertainment to their limitations. I introduced a sweet guy to Bocce Ball (lawn bowling). We found that he could do it from a chair and not only did he get fresh air and a bit of exercise, but as a plus, I got lots of exercise retrieving all of our balls each round!
Third, draw them out. How can we most efficiently get to know them, learn their interests and earn their trust? Start by asking questions. Admire family photos and wall hangings of significance. Inquire about mementos and souvenirs on display. Peruse family albums. Talk to their family members. Record their life story.
Remember that it doesn’t matter what we’ve planned or prepared for on the day of our visit if we are not also courteous of their time and energy. It is not our agenda, but theirs. We must be brief if they appear to need that. We must respect their space and ask permission before carrying out even the best laid plans.
Despite what many claim, nobody is completely lacking in creativity. We are blessed to have inspired, big-hearted volunteers that can always find that “something more to do”. That’s Inspiration!
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