My 11th Hour Tips

·   Be hands on! Go ahead and arrange lighting, TVs and seating for patient's best interest and your comfort. I am a hands-on person, and so I pull a chair up next to the bed where I can make contact. I prefer TVs off unless the patient or family prefers them on and I prefer a fairly dark room for the patients peace.

· Don’t be afraid to sing!

· Be open to sacred experiences or to the family’s- they may share special experiences with you if they know you are open to it

· Be with them in their belief system and never push yours on them.

· Keep a bag packed:

o Water and snack- eat before or after shift
o Tissues- I've never attended an 11th Hour that I haven't gotten weepy- you know that feeling- you’re not alone in the room with the patient!
o Reading material- in case you are in the hallway while family has private time or to read to patient
o Small clip-on booklight
o Writing material- to record last words, stories, etc.
o Lotion
o Hand sanitizer
o Map-keep MapQuests to nursing homes- you’ll likely be back!
o Flashlight (to find locations in the deep dark of night)
o Phone numbers for hospice-call with questions and of course if the patient passes
o Name Badge
o Song book or music player to drown out the sounds of other patients
o 11th hour “Bible” to review regularly
o scriptures

· You may be surprised to find that the family who requested your 11th hour services can’t tear themselves away from the bedside. If they are desperately tired, assure them that they can nap nearby and you will awaken them if anything changes.

It may be that they just don’t want to be alone with the patient should they pass, and so they desire your presence.

I had one family who was in the mortuary business. They were very comfortable with the dying process and I wondered why I was there as they watched TV, worked on laptops and read. They enjoyed telling me though all about grandma and how they would decorate her casket to reflect her hobbies and fetishes. They were almost too comfortable with the process. As the night progressed, so did Grandma and if I hadn’t been there to point it out, I think they might have missed the signs that she was about to pass, if not the actual passing. Because I made them aware, they left their various pastimes and gathered round the bed. I took that opportunity to mute the television and they had a few quiet, intimate minutes of final good-byes and kisses before she died.

· Sometimes you will find that you are there more for the family than the patient. Usually it’s the self-professed black sheep that come back at night when everyone else is gone. They’re anxious to talk and after getting things off their chest, they’re often then ready to spend a bit of alone time with the patient making amends, so offer privacy.

· Your goal is to aid in a peaceful death, whether that means supplying peaceful sounds to drown out background noises, reassuring them that they are not alone or being a quiet presence. These people are transitioning between two worlds and far be it from me to do distracting things that will draw them back into this world unnecessarily.

· Whatever your higher power is, turn to it for inspiration and you will be guided!

· “FORGET YOURSELF (leave your world behind for four hours and don’t be self-conscious) AND GET TO WORK!”