But wait! Don’t leave! There is more than one kind of Infection Control! While the OSHA standards (p.56-59 of your Training Manual) of infection control are very important information, it’s the other kind of infection that we want to discuss today.
Remember my friend I mentioned last month who is going through chemo (amidst several other trials)? I sent her the column, thanking her for the inspiration and mentioning how sad it is when is someone attempts to make the grieving person feel better by being falsely cheerful. The effect this can have is that it causes the mourner to feel guilty for feeling pain, as if they needed anything else to feel bad about!
My friend concurred, but added “Or, when the grieving person has to try and console the one who is supposed to be doing the consoling. It's so draining...”
We would never go in and dump our problems on these already troubled souls and likewise we mustn’t make their own burdens any heavier for them to bear.
We must balance our words and actions. We should empathize, and provide understanding of their pain, but not to the point that they are comforting us! They have a lot of exhausting mental work to do as their lives draw to a close and we are supposed to be there to help and support, to cheer and to comfort, not to spread pessimism.
I know that when I am troubled, my favorite people to turn to are those that can listen to my woes, sympathize with me and then turn around and help me laugh about them! Why not? I can laugh or I can cry, but crying just gives me a headache and makes my eyes red and puffy.
With practice, each of us can help our patients by:
1. Finding out what is troubling them.
2. Empathizing with their problems and making sure that their pain is recognized.
3. Utilizing the hospice support services team of chaplains and social workers as needed.
4. After they feel understood, trying to help them see not only how they can learn and grow from their trials, but the humor hiding in them, laughing with them about the ironies of life.
When my friends with young children bemoan some disaster their little ones have created, I always ask them if they have taken a picture. In the stress of the moment, they often can’t figure out why, but I know that as the memory of the mess and the anger fade, that they will be able to look back on the situation and laugh. The situation may even become a favorite family story down the road. I also know that the sooner they see the humor in the situation, the better for all involved!
Laughter is liberating! It means that you choose NOT to be a victim of circumstances, giving you a sense of control.
Laughter is uplifting! It releases those feel-good endorphins that serve as natural pain killers.
Laughter is healing! It is the best medicine. No prescription is required, it’s terribly cost effective and there are no side effects!
For anyone facing a terminal illness, I’d say that laughter is not just a coping mechanism, but a kind of courage.
Anatole Broyard wrote about the final days of his life in “Intoxicated by My Illness”. He said, “Illness is primarily a drama and it should be possible to enjoy it as well as to suffer it... Illness, after all, is not all tragedy. Much of it is funny.”
Your goal as a hospice volunteer, is not to transmit the toxins of gloom and drear, but to be infectious with laughter and cheer.
Hospice patients are going through some of the darkest, scariest days of their lives, and yet they are days that need to be cherished for both them and their families.
Have you noticed how being around happy people helps you be happy? A positive attitude is contagious.
Have you ever been where someone is laughing uncontrollably and soon everyone else is joining in even if they are just laughing at the one who started it? Humor is catching!
Control the kind of infection you spread. Enter any care center where the halls are lined with lonely people in wheel chairs anxious for the touch of human kindness. Something as simple as your gentle words and your tender touch can start a real pandemic… of joy! That’s Inspiration!
"There ain’t much fun in medicine,
but there’s a heck of a lot of medicine in fun."
(Josh Billings)
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