I is for Infection Control - ABC's of Hospice Volunteers

But wait!  Don’t leave!  There is more than one kind of Infection Control!  While the OSHA standards (p.56-59 of your Training Manual) of infection control are very important information, it’s the other kind of infection that we want to discuss today.

Remember my friend I mentioned last month who is going through chemo (amidst several other trials)?  I sent her the column, thanking her for the inspiration and mentioning how sad it is when is someone attempts to make the grieving person feel better by being falsely cheerful.  The effect this can have is that it causes the mourner to feel guilty for feeling pain, as if they needed anything else to feel bad about!

My friend concurred, but added “Or, when the grieving person has to try and console the one who is supposed to be doing the consoling.  It's so draining...”

We would never go in and dump our problems on these already troubled souls and likewise we mustn’t make their own burdens any heavier for them to bear.

We must balance our words and actions.  We should empathize, and provide understanding of their pain, but not to the point that they are comforting us!  They have a lot of exhausting mental work to do as their lives draw to a close and we are supposed to be there to help and support, to cheer and to comfort, not to spread pessimism. 

I know that when I am troubled, my favorite people to turn to are those that can listen to my woes, sympathize with me and then turn around and help me laugh about them!  Why not?  I can laugh or I can cry, but crying just gives me a headache and makes my eyes red and puffy. 

With practice, each of us can help our patients by: 


1. Finding out what is troubling them.

2. Empathizing with their problems and making sure that their pain is recognized.

3. Utilizing the hospice support services team of chaplains and social workers as needed. 

4. After they feel understood, trying to help them see not only how they can learn and grow from their trials, but the humor hiding in them, laughing with them about the ironies of life.

When my friends with young children bemoan some disaster their little ones have created, I always ask them if they have taken a picture.  In the stress of the moment, they often can’t figure out why, but I know that as the memory of the mess and the anger fade, that they will be able to look back on the situation and laugh.  The situation may even become a favorite family story down the road.  I also know that the sooner they see the humor in the situation, the better for all involved!

Laughter is liberating!  It means that you choose NOT to be a victim of circumstances, giving you a sense of control.

Laughter is uplifting!  It releases those feel-good endorphins that serve as natural pain killers. 

Laughter is healing!  It is the best medicine.  No prescription is required, it’s terribly cost effective and there are no side effects!

For anyone facing a terminal illness, I’d say that laughter is not just a coping mechanism, but a kind of courage. 

Anatole Broyard wrote about the final days of his life in “Intoxicated by My Illness”.  He said, “Illness is primarily a drama and it should be possible to enjoy it as well as to suffer it... Illness, after all, is not all tragedy.  Much of it is funny.”

Your goal as a hospice volunteer, is not to transmit the toxins of gloom and drear, but to be infectious with laughter and cheer.

Hospice patients are going through some of the darkest, scariest days of their lives, and yet they are days that need to be cherished for both them and their families. 

Have you noticed how being around happy people helps you be happy?  A positive attitude is contagious. 

Have you ever been where someone is laughing uncontrollably and soon everyone else is joining in even if they are just laughing at the one who started it?  Humor is catching! 

Control the kind of infection you spread.  Enter any care center where the halls are lined with lonely people in wheel chairs anxious for the touch of human kindness.  Something as simple as your gentle words and your tender touch can start a real pandemic… of joy!  That’s Inspiration!

"There ain’t much fun in medicine,

   but there’s a heck of a lot of medicine in fun."   

(Josh Billings)

B is for Belief System - ABC's of Inspired Hospice Volunteers

Belief System can refer to life stance, religion, world view, philosophy or ideology. Think of people you have known throughout your life and you will see that one’s belief system can be a most powerful asset or worst liability. It is made up of a set of core values, on which we tend to base our actions, words and beliefs. It defines us and molds us throughout our lives.
This month we want to focus on the spiritual side of belief systems.

In the medical world, there is little to no room for anything but hard science. In hospice however, we see that anyone giving care to a dying person finds that even the most ordinary things can take on a spiritual nature. Spiritual support is an integral part of a patient’s care.

How can we as volunteers help provide that spiritual support without overstepping bounds?

First, we must respond to patients from their own backgrounds. To do that, we must learn what their background is. Most everyone loves to talk about themselves and this is especially important to someone who is dying as it allows them a bit of a life review as they process the fact that they are indeed at the end of their life. As you get to know a new patient, you can ask gentle questions that give them an avenue to discuss their belief system if they choose. They have to know that you are interested in a non-judgmental way. Recording a patient’s life history, will also likely bring their spiritual beliefs to the forefront.

Once we know what a patient’s background or belief system is, we can be there with them in that place.

It is so important that we never impose our own personal beliefs on patients or families. This can be a delicate thing when we wish to bring them comfort in times of grief, but what succors us may not console another.

Spiritually, everyone has a belief system, even if it is simply that they have no belief in a power higher than themselves. Those that have no higher power can be the hardest to support.

The most gut-wrenching funeral I ever attended was my husband’s grandmother’s in East Berlin not long after the wall fell. Denied freedom of belief system, or religion for so many decades, the young people in the family thought death was simply the end and that they had no hope of seeing her again. They were absolutely devastated by her passing.

We are blessed to live in a time and place where people are allowed the freedom to believe how they wish. We must not do anything to take this freedom away from others.

It is a tragic thing to witness someone in the depths of despair, but all we can do is be with them in their grief and keep the channels of communication open should they desire to explore other ideas.

We have awesome chaplains available to help with patients who are struggling spiritually. Perceptive volunteers will let the staff know when needs are apparent. That’s Inspiration!