K is for Knowledge and Kindness - ABC's of Inspired Hospice Volunteers

All hospices are not created equal!  I’ve always believed that we volunteer with a good hospice, but now I really and truly know what an incredibly great hospice Inspiration is. 

This last month, a very sick friend in Las Vegas had been sent home from the hospital after being told that there was nothing more they could do for her.  She is alone in the world and was too sick and weak to take care of herself, so I readily volunteered to get hospice set up for her, fully confident that one or two phone calls would have a nurse rushing off to her aid to get her admitted.  Knowing how simple our hospice tries to make it for families in such stressful times, I had no idea of the nightmare this would become! 

First, I’d learned previously from Shar while searching for hospices for my mother-in-law in Pennsylvania, that I wanted a National Hospice and Palliative Care (NHPCO)accredited organization. 

Having located  those online at NHPCO.org, I started making calls, but it was a Sunday morning, so every hospice I reached had an answering service that promised a call back from a hospice representative within a half hour.  If your family member was in crisis, would you like to be relying on a hospice that is using an answering service?   I wouldn’t. 

Inspiration has a nurse and doctor on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!

When the Las Vegas hospices finally did return my call, they told me they could get someone out there the next day although I found one who would send a marketer out that afternoon, but for informational purposes only.  

Inspiration will have a nurse out within the hour to do an admit!

By this time I was so frustrated!  Then I learned that they wanted nothing to do with her because she didn’t already have a doctor’s order for hospice.  They don’t want to admit a patient until they are guaranteed they’ll get paid for every bit of effort they put into them.

If Inspiration cannot reach a patient’s doctor because it is a weekend, they will admit the person anyway because they have 48 hours to get the admit.  If the  patient is denied for whatever reason, then Inspiration assumes the costs and calls it a loss!

My friend’s story did not end well.  In the end, the only hospice that would talk to us, insisted she call an ambulance and go back to the hospital before they would admit her.  My sick, stubborn friend was determined to remain in her home and so there was nothing more I could do.  My sister was driving down to be with her and she took it from there, but still couldn’t get her onto hospice, because they said her disease wasn’t considered end-stage. 

Inspiration, in this same situation, would have admitted her for failure to thrive or debility!

My sister took care of her for the next several miserable nights and days, hurting her back and shoulder in the process.   Knowing my sister had to leave soon, the friend was so desperate that she resorted to attempting suicide because she wanted to die at home. That failed and obviously the  friend was  too far beyond what my sister could physically deal with, so she was forced to  call an ambulance and have her admitted back into the hospital.  The friend was extremely upset with the situation.  This story could have been so different if we could have located a truly knowledgeable, kind hospice like ours.

Inspiration Hospice, from the founding principles, to the protocol, to the staff they employ and volunteers they attract, is truly all about knowledge, kindness and compassion.  I think of the poem:

I have wept in the night

For the shortness of sight
That to somebody’s need made me blind;
But I never have yet       
Felt a tinge of regret
For being a little too kind.

^Anonymous

Now THAT’S Inspiration!

J is For The Journey of Love - ABC's of Hospice Volunteers

I have never been a caregiver to an aged parent or sick spouse; though I’m sure my time will come.  There is no teacher like experience though and so I feel sometimes that it limits me as a volunteer when I’m trying to empathize with the caregivers I meet. 


I can only imagine what a lonely, scary thing it must be as one is thrust, often quite suddenly, onto this journey that they are totally unprepared for.  For example, there is much research to be done when you are still young and caring for an elderly parent.  After all, what do you know of Medicare part D, incontinence, social security, osteoporosis and such?  Or what does the healthy person know of catheters, bed sores and long term care insurance?


Walking this road of care giving day after day can take a toll on one’s own health as all the time and effort seem to go into the patient’s well-being.  Sleepless nights are compounded by a lack of exercise and of course, the grief that all involved are experiencing.

Oftentimes, one cannot maintain their employment while being a full time caregiver. This can lead down a road of financial strain and even wreckage. 

A person’s social life can be lost by the wayside if they have no respite care and can’t get out of the house to go to lunch, church, work or even the store.  Such isolation is not healthy.


If one has dependent children in the home, things are even more stressful as there simply isn’t time for one person to meet everyone else’s needs.  The caregiver finds him or herself on a path that branches off into several directions, each needing to be traveled now.  The guilt will eat at them as they must choose just one, leaving the others for another day.  Even spouses and grown children can feel neglected in this situation, and often, of necessity, they are!


Is it any surprise that care givers are often more depressed than the sick that they care for or that they have a death rate 63% higher than their peers?


This journey of care giving, however fraught with obstacles, is a true journey of love.  It can bring frustration and fear, but also wonder and fulfillment.  Finding the joy in the journey though, often requires finding help. 


Sometimes you may wonder if the patient you visit really gets much out of your visits, but it may be that the caregiver is the one that needs you most, whether it is for respite care, physical help or just emotional support.


Here are a few ideas for helping the caregiver:
·      Make sure that you ask after the caregiver’s health and well-being.

·         Express your admiration that he/she has willingly taken on this role and stuck with it.

·         Express your understanding of how hard it can be.

·         Allow them time to open up and share the difficult parts.

·         Laugh with them over the humorous aspects of care giving.  

·         Ask how you can lighten their burdens. 

·         Often times, they won’t come up with anything, so mention specifics that you would be delighted to assist with. 

·         Follow through!

·         Let them know how it helps you when they allow you to serve.

We can never alleviate all their stress or make the illness go away, but we can certainly brighten their path and lighten their load as they proceed on this journey of love that we call care-giving.  That’s Inspiration!

Things that were bitter to bear are usually sweet to remember.